Hankering: Extended Version
by turtleback
Summary: Continuation of my one-shot Hankering. Maura has an itch that no one can scratch. She tries something new to see if it will help. Final Chapter posted. Jane has her own fantasy.
1. Chapter 1

**Hankering: Extended Version**

_There was some interest from readers in seeing a continuation my story Hankering. I really like leaving the original as a one-shot but I did have some thoughts on continuing. So this is the continuation which I decided to make a separate story. There will be at least a few more chapters. You can read the original chapter here: Add /s/__7401594/1/Hankering onto fanfiction net_

_Disclaimer: Jane Rizzoli and Maura Isles do not belong to me. No infringement intended and no profit will be made from their use._

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><p>Jane parked her car outside of Maura's house. Before leaving work she had tried to get in touch with Maura and see if she wanted to do something this evening. Maura hadn't responded to a voice message and several text messages, which was unusual, and Maura hadn't mentioned any plans for the evening. So instead of going home after work, Jane decided to swing by Maura's house and make sure everything was okay.<p>

As Jane was parking in a space on the street she noticed a woman leaving the area around Maura's house. Jane didn't recognize her and thought maybe she was wrong and the woman wasn't leaving Maura's but a neighbor's house.

Jane knocked on Maura's front door. As Maura opened the door, Jane heard her saying, "Did you forget something?" And then upon seeing Jane, Maura said, "Oh my god, Jane, what are you doing here?" Maura quickly tried to cover herself. She was still wearing only her bra and underwear.

Jane stepped quickly inside the house and closed the door. "Jesus, Maur, why are you answering your door almost naked?"

Maura had moved to the couch where her shirt was still laying on the couch. She picked it up and put it on. "I thought you were going to be someone else?"

"Who did you think it was going to be?"

Maura busied herself her blouse. "Is there some reason you're here?" Maura tried to ignore Jane's question because she knew there was no way she was going to be able to answer it nor was she going to be able to lie. She realized her own question probably sounded harsh to Jane. But that was nothing compared to how Jane would feel if she found out who her visitor really was.

"Was it the woman I saw leaving?" Jane asked.

Maura's head snapped up. "What? You saw her leaving?"

"Yeah. Who was she? Why didn't you have any clothes on when she was here?"

This was an unmitigated disaster. Jane was never going to let this go unless Maura could come with a good explanation, which was going to be impossible. Maura couldn't even come up with a half-truth that would explain it without including crucial pieces of information, but she couldn't think of anything.

Jane saw Maura sway and her eyes flutter and she realized that Maura was going to pass out. In a flash Jane was by Maura's side and awkwardly catching her by the shoulders before she hit the ground. Maura was still out so Jane scooped her up in her arms, which was also awkward given that Maura still wasn't wearing pants. Jane laid Maura on the couch, propping her head up with two pillows.

Jane then went into Maura's bedroom to find something to cover Maura up with. She found a throw blanket and returned to the living room and draped it over Maura's legs. Jane went to the kitchen and filled a glass with water. When she returned with the water, Maura's eyes were open.

"What happened?" Maura asked slightly confused.

"You fainted. Here's some water."

Maura looked at the blanket across her bare legs. "How long was I out?"

"Only a minute. I just thought you might want to be more covered," Jane said following Maura's line of sight. "I caught you before you hit the ground and moved you to the couch. I don't think you should have hurt anything."

"Thank you."

Jane sat down in the chair next to the couch. "Look, you obviously don't want to talk about whatever was going on tonight because you passed out, I'm guessing because you were trying to think of a lie to tell me. So I won't press you about it. Although you're my best friend and I hope you know you can tell me anything. I'll leave and give you some space, although I want to make sure you are okay before I go."

"I'm fine now, really."

Jane waited silently to see if Maura would choose to elaborate on her evening any further. When she didn't say anything more Jane stood up and said, "Okay, I guess I'll go and I'll see you tomorrow at work."

"Jane?" Maura said when Jane was heading to the door.

"Yeah?"

"Why did you come over here tonight?"

"Oh, I uh, just wanted to see if you wanted to hang out a little bit, and you didn't respond to my messages so I started to get a little worried about you. But I guess I shouldn't have come over unannounced. Sorry."

Jane left. Maura had no response to give her. The evening had gone from somewhat successful, offering Maura at least a temporary reprieve in her longing for Jane, to a complete disaster from she didn't know if they could recover. Maura knew their friendship was going to be tested by this. Maura's inability to tell Jane what she was doing tonight would bother Jane, even if she pretended it didn't. If Maura didn't tell her the truth, or at least enough approximation of the truth that she didn't faint, it might disrupt their friendship forever. But if she did tell Jane the truth, that she had paid for sex with someone who looked like Jane, Jane would probably never talk to her again.

In her own apartment, Jane couldn't help but analyze what had happened at Maura's house. Jane ran through the scenario she had encountered. A woman had left Maura's house and presumably Maura had been naked or nearly naked when the woman was there because she answered the door wearing only her underwear. But Maura didn't want to tell Jane what was happening, going so far as to try to lie and passing out.

Was Maura embarrassed? Or did she think Jane was going to judge her over whatever was going on?

Jane ran through the reasons Maura would have been naked with another woman, ignoring for a moment the obvious. Massage? Some sort of weird yoga? Nude model for an artist? Jane couldn't think of any reason Maura could possibly be embarrassed about or want to hide from Jane.

Which left the most obvious reason. Maura was having a sexual relationship with that woman. But why did she feel the need to hide it? Did she think Jane wouldn't approve or that it would change how Jane interacted with her? Maura was never embarrassed or bashful or secretive about sex.

Jane tried to go to sleep but only managed to toss and turn all night. She couldn't let what happened at Maura's go. The mystery of the unidentified woman was driving her crazy. And underneath it all was something nagging at Jane that she couldn't quite put her finger on.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hankering: Extended Version**

_You can read the original Hankering chapter here: Add /s/__7401594/1/Hankering onto fanfiction net_

_Disclaimer: Jane Rizzoli and Maura Isles do not belong to me. No infringement intended and no profit will be made from their use._

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><p>Maura groaned awake the next morning at the sound of her alarm. She felt tired and disoriented. When she remembered why she felt so terrible she groaned again. For the first time Maura could remember she didn't want to get out of bed. She wanted to hide under the covers forever. The thought of facing Jane made Maura cringe. But there would be no reprieve. Maura's phone rang and shortly thereafter she was on her way to their next crime scene.<p>

Jane woke up after managing a few hours of sleep. In the light of a new day, her concerns from the previous night seemed a bit silly. She had unintentionally invaded Maura's privacy in an embarrassing way. But everyone was entitled to keep some secrets for themselves, even her best friend. Maura obviously didn't want to tell Jane what was going on, so Jane was going to let it go. Jane's phone rang and she learned about their new crime scene.

It didn't take long that morning for Jane to realize that her plan wasn't going to work. Maura could barely look at her, even when Jane asked her a direct question. And Maura's answers were kept to one or two words. It was clear to Jane that a new tactic was going to be necessary. She didn't to let this issue grow out of control. If anyone else-Korsak, Frost, her mother, god forbid-noticed anything odd between her and Maura they wouldn't let it go and there would be questions and it would get worse. This had to be taken care of today.

Jane and Frost were kept busy all morning and afternoon chasing down leads on the homicide. Jane returned to police headquarters a little after 5pm when they had a brief break and went straight down to the autopsy lab. Maura was cleaning up from the autopsy on their victim. She looked up as Jane entered the lab but quickly averted her eyes before saying, "My report isn't quite done but the cause of death was confirmed as a gunshot would to the head."

Jane kept walking until she was right on the other side of autopsy table from Maura. "Thanks, but can we talk about something else for a minute?" Jane waited only a second for the response that didn't come before plowing ahead. "I feel absolutely terrible about last night. I'm sorry I invaded your privacy like that. I had really bad timing and then I kept questioning you and I shouldn't have done that. But I feel most terrible that you won't even look at me right now. I assure you that I've already forgotten about last night. So you know, stop being weird about it, there's no harm done."

Maura finally smiled at Jane's last sentence. Jane could always do that. Find the right thing to say to lighten the mood. Maura also knew that Jane didn't joke around if she was upset about something. She would be sarcastic but she wouldn't joke. "Okay, I'm sorry for being _weird_. Last night was very awkward for me and I thought you might be upset."

Jane walked around the table so she was closer to Maura. "Of course I'm not upset. What would I be upset about? Plus, you're entitled to have a few secrets. But only a few, okay?"

Maura smiled again and nodded. She desperately hoped Jane was done now and they wouldn't have to keep talking about this but she was out of luck.

"So you're into chicks now too?" Jane playfully punched Maura on the shoulder and grinned widely. "I hope you didn't think it would bother me because it doesn't. Plus like half the women that work in this building are gay. And most of them are much better dating options than the men here. Maybe it'll improve your dating record."

Maura just looked at dumbstruck while Jane kept grinning as she exited the lab. Maura wasn't sure what was worse: Jane appearing to be completely ignorant of Maura's small attempts at flirting with her or Jane talking about Maura dating other women. But it did seem that her and Jane were going to get past this event successfully. Maura was thankful that Jane knew just what to do and say to fix any problem they had.

Now Maura just get over Jane. It seemed clear now that Jane had no sexual interest in her. Maura had no choice but to move on.

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><p>Jane was feeling good. The case was moving quickly. An eye witness to the shooting had actually stepped forward, which happened in Boston about once a decade. And even more impressive, the witness had provided information that was actually useful and had led them quickly to a suspect who was then apprehended. On top of that, forensics evidence linked the suspect to the crime scene. Frost and Jane had the case pretty well wrapped up by 8pm.<p>

Not to mention that Jane had deftly handled the situation with Maura, if she did say so herself. So she was feeling pretty good. The guys were planning on hitting the bar for a celebratory drink and Jane decided to go downstairs first to share the good news on the arrest with Maura and drag her to the bar. Jane knew Maura was still working because she had just sent an email only five minutes ago.

Jane found the autopsy lab deserted but saw that the light in Maura's office was on so she headed that way. Maura's door was mostly closed. Jane raised her hand to knock but stopped when she heard Maura's voice. She was talking on the phone, Jane realized.

Jane heard Maura say, "Yes, it was more than satisfactory. She performed extremely well and I was fully satisfied. I just will not require her services anymore."

Jane froze and thought, _Shit, I should not have heard that. Dammit. _Jane walked as quickly and quietly as she could back to the elevators where she paced back and forth. _Fuck, I have to invite her or the guys will wonder what happened and one of them might try to joke with her about where she was and then she'll know I didn't invite her. What the fuck was that conversation about? No, I have to ignore it. It doesn't matter. It's Maura's private business. If she wants to tell me she will. I'm not gonna think about it anymore._

Jane waited a few more minutes by the elevator and then walked back into the autopsy lab. "Maura?" Jane called out. "Are you still down here?"

Maura walked out of her office and said, "Hi, why are you yelling?"

Jane rubbed the back of her neck. "Oh, I just didn't know if you were still here."

"Did you need something?"

"Uh, yeah. Yes. I thought you'd wanna know we arrested the guy in this morning's shooting. And we're going to the Robber to celebrate. I wanted to see if you wanted to come with us."

"Sure, sounds great. I have a few more things to do but I'll meet you over there."

Jane left and made her way to the bar, repeating the phrase '_Ignore it'_ over and over in her head.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hankering: Extended Version**

_You can read the original Hankering chapter here: Add /s/__7401594/1/Hankering onto fanfiction net_

_Disclaimer: Jane Rizzoli and Maura Isles do not belong to me. No infringement intended and no profit will be made from their use._

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><p>Maura was a sexual person. It wasn't a secret that she enjoyed sex and she no problem talking openly about it. She believed in orgasms. Aside from the obvious pleasurable effects of orgasms there was ample scientific evidence that there were many health benefits, including living longer, reducing the risk of heart attacks and increasing brain function.<p>

Ideally Maura would have at least one orgasm a day. She thought "An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away" was a far more accurate statement than "an apple day keeps the doctor away." It wasn't always possible with her work schedule and other things that sometimes got in the way, but it was a good goal.

Of course recently it had been more challenging than usual to get that one orgasm a day. She wanted Jane and not having her was causing havoc with her body. During the past few weeks, she was never satisfied and her orgasms, whether solo or with a partner, were lackluster at best. The night with the Jane impersonator was the first decent orgasm Maura had had in weeks. Unfortunately that gratification had been short lived. Jane showing up right after had, among other things, ruined the facade.

It was now a week later and Maura hadn't come since that night. She desperately needed a release but couldn't even get close. A few nights ago, when she lay in bed and tried to touch herself, dragging her fingertips across her abdomen and then attempting to tease herself through her thong, Maura didn't feel aroused, she only felt shame and revulsion. She was flooded with memories of that night. She was ashamed she had stooped so low. And she hated herself for neither telling Jane about her feelings for her, nor telling the Jane the truth about what she had done that night. She had allowed Jane to believe a much simpler and happier story than reality.

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><p>Jane tried really, really hard to forget what she had overheard Maura saying. Work kept her busy for most of the next week which helped. A triple homicide had her and Frost running all over the city. But whenever she had enough time to let her mind wander it always came back to the same thing. She replayed Maura's words over and over in her head. <em>"She performed extremely well and I was fully satisfied. I just will not require her services anymore."<em>

Maura could have been talking about any number of things, Jane supposed. But her gut told her it had something to do with that night. It was maddening. She had told Maura that she wouldn't pry into things Maura wanted to keep secret. She didn't want to violate that. But the whole scenario was still bothering her. Something wasn't adding up. Maura had led Jane to believe that she had been hooking up with the woman Jane noticed leaving. The phone conversation suggested something else. Again Jane was left with the question of why Maura was trying to hide whatever it was from her.

Because of work, Jane and Maura didn't see each other much that week other than quick conversations about the victims. Thursday afternoon Frost and Jane were no closer to solving the case, but without new evidence or a new witness stepping forward, they were running out of leads and ideas. They decided to break for the rest of day and start fresh the next day. Jane headed to the Robber for a drink and decided to text Maura and see if she wanted to join her. Jane hoped returning to their normal routine would help her forget about the conversation.

When Maura arrived at the Robber Jane was on her second beer, sitting in their regular booth, and there was a glass of Merlot waiting for Maura. Maura was also hoping for some normalcy. She needed to get her mind straightened out in terms of her friendship with Jane. She needed to get over her attraction and over her guilt about the past week, the sooner the better. A post-work drink was normal and safe.

And it did feel normal to both Jane and Maura. They talked mostly about work. Jane brought Maura up to date on the status of her case. Maura talked about the other cases she had worked on that week. Maura forgot about the unease that had plagued her earlier in the week and even temporarily forgot about her sexual frustration. Jane had pushed Maura's phone conversation from her mind. Until Maura unintentionally brought Jane's attention back to it.

Maura looked at her watch. "It's getting late, I think I need to get going. I'm just going to go to the restroom first," Maura said and slid out of the booth. Jane watched her walk towards the back of the bar before bringing her gaze back to the table and spotting Maura's purse and phone sitting in front of her. Jane's detective skills kicked into gear. She realized could look at Maura's phone and find out who she had been talking to.

Jane knew it was horribly wrong but after checking to see that Maura wasn't in sight, she grabbed the cell phone and scrolled through the recent phone calls until she found the right day and time and memorized the number she found. The phone was back in place long before Maura returned to the table and picked up the phone and her purse to leave.

Jane stayed sitting in the booth in the bar and ordered a third beer. She nursed it while thinking about what she had done and what she was contemplating doing. It was a gross invasion of Maura's privacy, perhaps unforgivable if Maura found out. _"She performed extremely well and I was fully satisfied. I just will not require her services anymore." _Jane couldn't let it go.

Jane finished off the beer. She pulled her cell phone off the clip on her belt and typed in the numbers she had memorized. She hesitated another minute before pushing the send button. After two rings a female voice answered and said, "Amazing Encounters. How can we satisfy you?"

"Oh, uh," Jane sputtered. "Wrong number, sorry." Jane ended the call and dropped the phone on the table.

_Fuck_. _Fuck. Fuck._ It just kept getting worse. It was like an accident scene you couldn't keep your eyes off of. Jane couldn't stop looking for the mangled bodies. She knew if she kept digging there was a very good chance she was going to hate what she found. If she didn't keep digging, it would nag at her forever. Either way her friendship with Maura was going to be tested and perhaps forever damaged.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hankering: Extended Version**

_You can read the original Hankering chapter here: Add /s/__7401594/1/Hankering onto fanfiction net_

_Disclaimer: Jane Rizzoli and Maura Isles do not belong to me. No infringement intended and no profit will be made from their use._

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><p>Jane awoke in a cold sweat, her shirt soaked through. She glanced at the clock. It was 5am. A string of images from the previous night played across her mind. She came home last night from the bar and found the bottle of whiskey she kept for liquor emergencies in the back of one of her cupboards. She quickly downed three generous shots. She needed to dull herself enough to fall asleep rather than dwell on the new piece of information she had discovered that evening. The whiskey burned going down. It was cheap stuff, designed for desperate situations. Jane took one final gulp straight from the bottle, stumbled to her bedroom and collapsed on the bed.<p>

Mixed in with memories of the previous night were vaguer images of dreams Jane had during the night: Maura in her underwear; a faceless woman kissing Maura and touching her. And finally right before Jane woke up, Jane and Maura naked together, bodies entwined. Fucking whiskey, Jane thought. Although if she was being honest with herself, she would admit that it wasn't the first time she had dreamed about Maura like that. Last night's dreams were just a bit more explicit.

Jane shivered and then shook her head, as if trying to physically force the images from her mind. She couldn't shake the ache between her legs though, she could only try to resolutely ignore it. Jane got out of bed, peeled off her clothes and stepped into the shower, turning up the water as hot as she could stand it. Once her skin was fully raw and red, Jane stepped out and got dressed.

There was nothing else to do but go to work and hope there would be something there to distract her. Jane sat at her desk with a cup of coffee and updates the files for their current case. She then tried to read through the full case file and look for some new inspiration or something that was previously missed.

The bullpen was quiet, no one else was in yet, but Jane couldn't concentrate. She would read a sentence and then her mind would drift to Maura, to the mystery woman, to last night's unsettling dreams. Jane was filled with a mixture of confusion, disgust, and something else that she couldn't identify. She should have just asked Maura about what she overheard, but she didn't know if she would feel differently now if Maura had told her the truth. The only difference would be that Maura would know that Jane knew.

Jane was saved by a phone call from the forensics lab. One of the techs called to say a trace amount of blood found at the scene had finally been matched in one of the national DNA databases. They had a suspect. Jane called Frost, who was on his way in, and then met him outside so they could track down the suspect. From there, things moved quickly, the suspect was found at home asleep, was brought in for questioning, and after a short round of good cop-bad cop, he confessed.

It was a great feeling to go from having nothing to arresting a confessing suspect within the span of a few hours. After a few more hours the suspect was booked and the paperwork wrapping up. But Jane couldn't participate in the good mood in the bullpen. Back at her desk, she was back to brooding about Maura. Ignoring all reasonable thoughts telling her not to do it, Jane started looking through the various police resources and databases at her disposable for information about Amazing Encounters.

A couple of hours later Jane had a picture of a high end escort service able to cater to every whim and desire. Every kink and every fantasy could be served for the right price. The business had been hit with charges of prostitution a few years ago, but they had eventually been dropped when key pieces of evidence fell through.

When she finally looked up from the computer, Jane was seething. She didn't care why Maura had engaged the services of someone from Amazing Encounters, only that she had. Jane looked at her watch. It was already past six. Unless a new body had come in, Maura should be at home. Jane went down to the basement and after confirming Maura wasn't there, she drove to Maura's house.

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><p>When Maura opened her door she knew immediately something was wrong. Jane pushed past her without saying anything. Maura closed the door and watched Jane pacing.<p>

Finally Jane stopped pacing and glaring at Maura, said, "Amazing Encounters? What the hell Maura?"

Maura didn't try to deny it, she just said, "How did you find out?"

Jane ignored that question. In her current state of self-righteousness, she didn't want to look at her own misdeeds. "How could you do this? Aside from the obvious moral questions, what if the person had been dangerous? Or what if they were under investigation? What if someday your name is found in their list of clients? Your career could be ruined. How could you be so stupid?"

Maura forced herself to remain calm. "I was careful."

"So you carefully paid someone for sex or whatever the fuck was going on here that night?" Jane yelled.

"You don't understand," Maura protested, still remaining calm.

"Did you the pay the woman who I saw leaving?"

Maura hung her head. She couldn't lie and she didn't want to lie to Jane anyway. She just wanted this over. "Yes."

"Did she fuck you?"

"Yes," Maura said quietly.

"Then I think I understand perfectly." Jane threw up her arms. "I don't know why I even came over here." Jane walked quickly to the door. Before she had a chance to open it, Maura spoke.

"Jane, wait. If you are going to hate me anyway, at least listen to my explanation." Jane didn't turn around but she didn't move to leave either, so Maura continued. "The woman who you saw was here because I couldn't have the person I really wanted. I've been trying to get your attention for months but I've been too cowardly to say anything directly. I wanted you. She was just a substitute because I couldn't have you."

Maura saw Jane stiffen as she talked. Jane stayed perfectly still and quietly contemplated what Maura had just revealed. Jane raised her hand to reach for the doorknob but instead of turning it she turned around and faced Maura again. Jane clenched her jaw and said angrily, "How did you know you couldn't have me if you didn't even try?" Jane walked towards Maura until she was standing right in front of her. "Don't you dare try to blame this on me. You did this."

"I'm not trying to blame you, I'm just trying to explain." Without thinking about it, Maura raised her hands toward Jane's shoulders.

Jane grabbed at Maura's wrists before Maura's hands touched her. She pulled Maura's arms down between them and tightened her fingers around Maura's wrists.

Maura struggled weakly to remove her hands from Jane's grasp. But Jane's proximity was causing her to lose focus. "Jane..." Maura breathed.

In her continued anger, Jane was breathing heavily and she noticed Maura was too. She stared at Maura's face and watched as Maura's skin flushed and her eyes dilated under her gaze. It was all too much. The revelations, the dreams, Maura standing in front of her looking like that.

Jane snapped. With her hands still gripping Maura's wrists, Jane walked Maura backwards until Maura's back was pressed against the kitchen island. She released one wrist and gripped Maura's thigh. "Is this what you wanted?" Maura moaned softly. Jane pushed Maura's dress up, hooked her fingers in the top of her underwear and ripped it off. "You want me to fuck you like this? Is this what you were looking for?"

Jane dragged two fingers through Maura's folds. She was soaking wet. "Please, Jane." Without further hesitation, Jane pushed two fingers roughly inside Maura. "Oh god," Maura moaned.

Jane continued to push roughly against Maura. She released Maura's other wrist and gripped Maura's shoulder instead. "Is this what you wanted?"

"Yes," Maura panted. "I mean no...I mean I want everything. I want everything with you." Maura put her hands at the top of Jane's pants and tried to unbuckle them, but Jane slapped her hands away. "I want you, Jane."

Jane gripped the back of Maura's neck and plunged her tongue inside Maura's mouth as aggressively as her fingers were pushing into her. She pulled her mouth back when she started to feel Maura's body tensing.

"Oh Jane," Maura cried out. "Oh Jane! JANE!" Maura screamed as she came.

Jane pulled her fingers out and stepped back. She was breathing heavily. She looked at Maura who was leaning against the counter panting and disheveled. "Oh god, Maura. I'm sorry. I...I...oh god." Jane rushed to the door.

"Jane wait. Please don't go," Maura called after her. "I wanted this."

Jane looked back. She could feel the tears forming in her eyes. "I'm sorry," she said again before leaving.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hankering: Extended Version**

_You can read the original Hankering chapter here: Add /s/__7401594/1/Hankering onto fanfiction net_

_Disclaimer: Jane Rizzoli and Maura Isles do not belong to me. No infringement intended and no profit will be made from their use._

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><p>Jane ran out of the front door of Maura's house. She held it together until she got into the driver's seat of her car. There she broke down in a mixture of tears and anger.<p>

Jane was startled by tapping on her passenger side window. The door opened and Maura slid into the passenger seat. She had wrapped herself in a knee length trench coat and she held it tight around her. "We have to talk about this now. If we let it go, we'll never recover."

"Oh, are you an expert on friendships now?" Jane huffed while trying to wipe her eyes dry.

"No. Are you?" Maura responded calmly.

"The evidence clearly points to no."

Maura shifted in the seat so she was more directly facing Jane and said, "I love you, Jane."

Jane kept her eyes averted from Maura and her hands gripped the steering wheel. "That wasn't love."

"No, it wasn't. That doesn't mean I don't love you. A part of me wishes I could say I regret what just happened between us, but I don't regret it at all."

"What just happened was wrong. What I did was wrong."

Maura sighed. "Would it make you feel any differently if I told you I've imagined more or less that exact scenario more times than I can count?"

Jane responded by lowering her head against the steering wheel. "You deserve so much more than that. Nobody should ever treat you like that."

"I think that's for me to decide. Although, it probably would have been better to have our first time be more traditional."

Jane finally looked at Maura. "Are we having the same conversation? I acted like an animal tonight."

"No you didn't. If I had said no or if I told you to stop, you would have stopped. You didn't do anything wrong. And now, I'm trying to get you to move past what happened and on to the future. Our future. I wish with all of my heart that I had told you this sooner, but I love you, Jane."

"Stop staying that," Jane yelled. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"Jane-"

"We can't do this," Jane interrupted. "We can't be having this conversation or any remotely similar conversation. There's no moving past this. There's no future to talk about."

Maura spoke slowly and deliberately, "I know that you know it's not that simple. You didn't just...touch me the way you touched me accidentally, or out of anger. In that moment you wanted me as much as I wanted you. I know that you are attracted to me, even if you can't admit to me, or even admit it to yourself. Please don't run away from this. Come back inside the house with me."

"I...just give me a few minutes."

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><p>Forty minutes later Maura heard her front door open and after another twenty seconds Jane appeared in her bedroom doorway. Maura had given up when Jane didn't come in after a few minutes and she had taken a quick shower, put on a tank top and shorts and was sitting in bed reading a book. "When you didn't come in after a few minutes I thought you weren't coming at all."<p>

Jane still averted her gaze from Maura and shifted nervously in the doorway. She suddenly felt like she was intruding. She didn't belong in Maura's bedroom, in this mundane, domestic setting. "I wasn't sure I was going to come inside."

Maura was so much more perceptive than most people. The question was always whether she could interpret what she was seeing correctly. It usually wasn't hard for her with Jane though. "Would you be more comfortable if we went downstairs?"

Jane winced. "Uh, no I'm fine here." Jane very slowly moved towards Maura took up a perch on the very edge of the bed, facing away from Maura.

Maura was quiet. She had done most of the talking earlier and her resolve had dissipated when Jane didn't follow her inside right away. So she waited for whatever Jane had to say.

Jane ran her fingers through her hair. "God, Maur, how did we get here? Ahhh, I've been thinking... about everything you said. You're not wrong. I am attracted to you. Of course, anyone who's seen you would be attracted to you. I've been ignoring it for a long time. Sometimes I've thought you were attracted to me too, but I ignored that as well. This past week I've been jealous and angry. The thought of you being with a woman that wasn't me was torturing me. And I couldn't leave it alone so I did some things I'm not proud of. And then tonight, I was acting out of anger and I don't know how to live with myself now. I don't even know how to look at you right now. We have to just forget about this night. I can't move forward from here. I just want to erase everything that happened tonight."

When Maura was sure Jane wasn't going to say anything else, she said, "I don't believe you. I think if you wanted to really forget about this you would have already left." Maura moved slowly until she was kneeling behind Jane. "We could be so good together, Jane. You must feel that too. What's holding you back?"

Jane was silent.

Maura gently put her hands on Jane's shoulders. "I don't regret what happened tonight, especially if it can lead to more. We've been hiding from each other for so long. Let's not do that anymore."

Jane felt herself relax into Maura's touch. It was so tempting to just give in to Maura. "You make it sound so easy. Have you thought about any of the consequences of us being together?"

Maura pressed closer to Jane's back and gently rubbed her hands across Jane's shoulders and neck. She was close enough now that Jane could feel Maura's breath on her neck when she spoke. "Jane, there's nothing we can't overcome. I've been attracted to you for a long time. At first, I admit, the attraction was just physical. But it's grown to be so much more. Every time I went out with someone else I started comparing him to you. No one could measure up to you. I had given up on anything happening between us. But that possibility reappeared for me tonight and I don't want to let it go. It's late now. Just stay here with me tonight?"

"Maura," Jane sighed.

Maura pressed a soft kiss to Jane's neck, just where the collar of her shirt ended. "If you can honestly say that you don't want to be with me, you can leave and I'll never mention anything about tonight again. But if any part of you doesn't believe that just stay tonight. We can talk more in the morning."

Jane shifted on the bed so she was facing Maura. She reached up and tucked a strand of perfect hair behind Maura's ear and then traced her finger down Maura's jaw. Jane leaned closer and pressed her lips against Maura's. It was gentle, sensual. Nothing like earlier. Maura's lips parted and Jane tenderly traced Maura's tongue with her own.

Jane pulled back and stood up. "I'm sorry. I can't stay."


	6. Chapter 6

**Hankering: Extended Version**

**_I planned to have this chapter up days ago but then Snowtober happened and I was without power for five days. But now it's back and I'm back to work._**

**_Thanks everyone for all the reviews and alerts. I got a lot of reviews for the last chapter and I'm sorry I haven't been able to respond to all of them due to the power outage. I'm going to try to respond in the next few days though._**

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><p>Maura was true to her word. In the week since Jane had fucked her and then ran Maura hadn't mentioned it once. She acted entirely as if it hadn't happened. Maura was used to being called cold, particularly by former lovers, because for the most part when a relationship reached it's end for her it was over. She didn't feel the need to dwell on it or feel bad about it. If she ever analyzed this herself, Maura would probably say it was a defense mechanism born out of a childhood that was full of material comforts but short on emotional comforts. It was easier for Maura to emotionally cut someone else off before they were able to cut her off.<p>

So going back to the way things previously were with Jane was easy for Maura. Plus, Maura had in many ways gotten what she wanted. That particular itch had been scratched. She had experienced what it felt like to have Jane's hands on her, inside her. The thing that gave Maura pause was the kiss. She was so consumed by it that it took a few moments after it ended for Maura to realize that Jane had left. For the first time, Maura let a small part of her hope that Jane had felt something special in the kiss too.

Even if pressed Jane probably couldn't explain why she left Maura's house. The fact was, she left because she always left. Jane Rizzoli was a fucking tease. Jane knew it had been said about her going all the way back to high school and she also knew there was enough truth in that statement that she didn't even get mad about it. There had never been any shortage of men and women flirting with her and Jane would flirt right back. Sometimes she'd agree to go on a date but it rarely got past there. Jane would always break it off before it had a chance to really get started. She always bailed before anyone could get even remotely close to her.

Jane was sure a psychiatrist would have all sorts of thoughts on her pathetic relationship history. Jane risked her life on the job on a regular basis, but she had never risked her heart. She figured there would be some bullshit about being a woman in a male dominated field, blah, blah, blah. Whenever Jane had to make an appearance before the department psychologist she lied. She made up long term boyfriends. Because Jane didn't actually want to be alone and she definitely didn't want to hear some stranger's theories about why she was still alone.

Leaving Maura's house that night was the first time Jane had bailed on someone and felt like she'd made a mistake, though. Almost immediately after leaving Maura she wanted to go back. But she couldn't bring herself to return. Despite Maura's attempts to reassure her, Jane hated how she acted that evening. She needed to get herself right. Get her head cleared. Maura was already the exception. The one person Jane allowed to get close to her. If she was going to admit that she wanted to be with Maura, she needed to be deserving of Maura and not fuck it up.

The week after their encounter felt to Jane like the longest week of her life. It would have been easier if Maura had been angry with her, or shown any emotion about what had happened between them. But Maura acted as if nothing had happened at all, just as she said she would. Jane, on the other hand, was a mess of emotions. When she was near Maura she longed to be near her, to touch her. Maura was either oblivious to it or choosing to ignore it.

When Jane was alone she was prone to self-recrimination. She thought about her actions. She thought about why she had left Maura's that night. During her wallowing, Jane also thought about what Maura had done. It was reprehensible, not to mention illegal. But Jane found herself more consumed by thinking about another woman touching Maura intimately. In fact, some times Jane could think of little else. And that turned into Jane thinking about touching Maura herself. It was easy to visualize, she just had to think back to how Maura looked that night.

During the past week, Jane was increasingly distracted. She would sit at her desk and stare off into space. She frequently stopped paying attention during conversations and had to ask people to repeat themselves. It did not go unnoticed by Korsak and Frost but attempts to ask Jane if anything was wrong received no constructive response.

* * *

><p>"Dr. Isles is getting awfully friendly with that woman over there." Frost, Korsak, Maura and Jane were at the Dirty Robber on Friday evening. It was a semi-regular occurrence for the four of them, particularly after solving a case. Maura had left their booth a little while ago to use the restroom and Jane was so immersed in her own thoughts that she only realized then how long Maura had actually been gone.<p>

Jane perked up at Frost's comment and followed his line of sight. Maura was standing at the bar, glass of wine in hand, talking with a woman. Or more accurately, flirting with a woman. There was no question that Maura was flirting with the tall brown haired woman at the bar. They were leaning slightly towards each other and smiling. Jane watched as the other woman put her hand near Maura's shoulder and leaned in and said something in Maura's ear. Maura laughed in response.

Jane felt her face flush and she looked away. If Frost or Korsak noticed they didn't say anything. Soon after, Maura returned to the booth. Jane composed herself for the rest of the evening. After everyone was done and they said their goodbyes outside the bar, Jane grabbed hold of Maura's arm and held her back, saying, "Can I talk to you for a second?" Without waiting for a response, Jane pulled Maura to the alley next to the bar. "What was that about?"

Maura tried to pull her arm from Jane's grasp but Jane wouldn't let go. "What are you talking about?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about. Flirting in the bar with that woman," Jane said angrily.

"What about it?"

Jane, unconsciously, tightened her grip on Maura's arm. "Less than two weeks ago you were telling me you loved me. How can you be so casually flirting with someone else?"

Maura grabbed Jane's hand forcefully and pulled it off of her. "Let go of me. I told you I loved you and then you left. I told you I would forget about it and I did. Am I supposed to just keep waiting for you to change your mind or something?" Maura watched the emotions play across Jane's face. Confusion followed by anger.

Jane let go of Maura and started pacing. "What the fuck Maura? You forgot about it? You told me you wouldn't mention it again, not forget about it. Don't I get any time to think things through before you write me off forever?"

"I said if there was any chance that you could want to be with me than you should stay. You left. That seemed final to me."

Jane came back to stand right in front of Maura. "God, how can you be so fucking literal when we're talking about love? What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Maura didn't think. She just reacted. She was as surprised as Jane was when her hand connected with Jane's face. But her anger didn't dissipate. "How could you say something like that to me? You are supposed to be my best friend. You aren't supposed to judge me." Maura started walking away.

"Maura wait," Jane reached out and grabbed Maura's arm but Maura wrenched her arm away.

"Don't touch me. You want more time? You can have all the time in the world. You rejected me first. Don't forget that." Maura walked away as quickly as her heels would allow her.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hankering: Extended Version**

_You can read the original Hankering chapter here: Add /s/__7401594/1/Hankering onto fanfiction net_

_Disclaimer: Jane Rizzoli and Maura Isles do not belong to me. No infringement intended and no profit will be made from their use._

_**Thanks again for all the comments!**  
><em>

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><p>Frost and Korsak left the bar together and walked back to headquarters where they were both parked. "That was weird right?" Frost said.<p>

"Yup," Korsak responded.

"I mean, Maura was so obviously flirting with a woman at the bar and Jane was acting so weird."

"Frost, you should really just let it go."

"What do you mean?"

"Just let it go. Don't mention it to Jane or Maura, unless you want to get your ass kicked by Jane. If there is something we need to know, they'll tell us. Otherwise, just leave it alone, if you know what's good for you."

"But Jane's been so weird and out of it recently and then tonight she was obviously upset about Maura."

Korsak stopped walking and grabbed Frost's arm. "Frost, if you want your balls to remain intact, just let it go."

* * *

><p>Fueled by adrenaline and anger, Maura held herself together until she made it home, where she collapsed in bed and cried herself to sleep. For the second time that month, Maura woke up the next morning with a groan and no desire to get out of bed. This time she didn't have to go to work, though, so Maura buried herself under the covers until hunger and the need to go to the bathroom finally forced her out of bed.<p>

After taking a shower, Maura stood naked in front of her bathroom mirror and critically appraised what she saw. Her eyes were still red and puffy from crying. There was a light colored bruise forming on Maura's upper arm where Jane's thumb had dug into her skin the previous night. It wasn't surprising, given how tightly Jane had gripped her arm, but still, Maura was taken aback that Jane had done that to her.

Had she completely misjudged Jane's character? She had always viewed Jane as loyal, caring, kindhearted, and protective of the people she cared about. But in their most recent two private encounters, Jane had been angry, aggressive, even nasty. She wasn't the person Maura thought she loved.

Jane tended to see things in black and white. Because of her commitment to logic and tendency to take things too literally, many people may have expected Maura to be the same. But for those very reasons she was the opposite. When you relied on logic to guide you, it eventually became apparent how few things could be reduced to black and white, or right and wrong.

Given the lack of compelling evidence to feel otherwise, Maura had an open mind about sex and everything related to it, including sex work. Maura realized that Jane would feel differently. And because of that, Maura had to accept that she had inadvertently set in motion everything that had happened the past few weeks. What she viewed as simply taking care of her needs had caused this chain of events, and Maura had no idea how to fix it.

* * *

><p>Jane watched Maura walk away and felt both helpless and hopeless. Plus her jaw fucking hurt where Maura had hit her. Jane made her way home and lay in bed unable to fall asleep.<p>

It seemed like every time Jane saw Maura recently she made things worse. Jane really intended to take time to think about herself and what she wanted in life. She believed she would conclude that she wanted a life with Maura, but she didn't want to make that decision too lightly or too quickly.

So Jane felt like she was really trying for the first time to her shit together, but Maura kept doing things to make her crazy and act stupid. Jane couldn't comprehend how Maura could do any of the things she had done recently if she actually loved her? Not that Jane hadn't done some fucked up things too, but wasn't it all Maura's fault. Jane was just reacting to the things Maura had done.

Maybe she didn't really know Maura at all. Jane thought of Maura as sweet and innocent. Someone who deserved love and care but who also needed protection. Jane was beginning to realize that that was terribly naive of her given recent events. Not to mention somewhat rude to Maura. She wasn't a child. She was a brilliant, accomplished woman who deserved love and companionship, not protection. Jane needed to start thinking of her that way before she ruined everything forever.

* * *

><p>At some point Jane drifted off to sleep. She awoke with a start, lying face down in her bed, images from what had become all too familiar dreams still filling her head. Jane looked at the clock. It was only a little after 4am. Since the night she had fucked Maura, the dreams had increased in frequency and intensity. Waking up in the middle of the night wasn't uncommon. The intensity of Jane's own need had increased exponentially as well.<p>

Jane had been raised to be a good Catholic girl, and good Catholic girls didn't touch themselves. Even though Jane had rejected most of her religious upbringing-it was difficult to maintain faith while seeing the things Jane saw on a regular basis-the sex stuff was hard to completely let go of. Normally that was okay. She got by. Jane thought her sex drive was probably relatively low, but it didn't bother her.

But now she'd reached her breaking point. All the dreams and the recently awakened desire for Maura had finally caught up to her and if she didn't do something about it, she wasn't going to be able to function. Jane didn't move from her position on her stomach but moved one hand under the covers from where it lay by her head. She pushed the waistband of her shorts farther down before slipping her hand inside her underwear.

Jane wasn't surprised to find she was already wet. She nearly came just from the dreams. Jane stroked herself as she replayed images from the dreams. Maura touching her. Maura's mouth on her. The look on Maura's face the night when Jane touched her.

Jane's other hand gripped the back of her head as she pressed her face further into her pillow to stifle the sound of her moans. She came, but the relief it brought was only temporary. And it did less than nothing to solve any of her problems.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hankering: Extended Version**

_You can read the original Hankering chapter here: Add /s/__7401594/1/Hankering onto fanfiction net_

_Disclaimer: Jane Rizzoli and Maura Isles do not belong to me. No infringement intended and no profit will be made from their use._

_**I haven't established the time period when this story is set. I don't have plans to incorporate anything major from any Season 2 episodes into this story, but I would say that this story is set sometime during Season 2 and this chapter has minor spoilers. Also, I've seen some info on what's gonna happen in the final five Season 2 episodes and predictably there is going to be something going on with Tommy and Maura. It doesn't surprise me and I think it could actually be done in an interesting way, but I'm guessing it will just be annoying.**_

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><p>Jane sulked around her apartment all weekend. Her mother called her roughly a million times but Jane let them all go to voicemail. Every time the phone rang she looked at it hopefully. Jane wanted Maura to be calling to tell her she had figured out the perfect solution to their problem. But it never was. Her mother, however, left her a series of increasingly agitated voicemails about Sunday dinner and how Angela knew Jane didn't have to work and Tommy and Frankie were going to be there and how Jane better be there too if she knew what was good for her.<p>

Jane knew she had to go, even though Sunday dinner now meant dinner at Maura's house and it therefore meant seeing Maura. Jane had no excuse for not being there. She had been avoiding her mother as much as possible during the past few weeks and going would be easier than trying to explain to her mother why she didn't want to go.

So Sunday evening Jane went to Maura's house and tried to act as normal as possible. Once there it wasn't too hard, as long as Jane kept her thoughts away from Maura. Jane did truly love her family and she hadn't spent nearly enough time with them recently. It was easy enough to relax and fall into the normal Rizzoli family banter. Jane just avoided talking to or even looking at Maura.

After dinner Jane and Angela were cleaning up in the kitchen. Frankie had already left and Maura and Tommy were sitting on the couch talking.

Jane was standing at the sink washing dishes and Angela was next to her, leaning back against the counter and watching Maura and Tommy. "Don't you think Maura and Tommy would make a nice looking couple?"

Jane rolled her eyes. She should known she wouldn't get through the evening unscathed. "You know I love Tommy and he's been doing really good recently, but I think Maura deserves better than an ex-con dog-walker."

Angela smirked. "Perhaps a police detective would be better?"

Jane snorted, "I know you really want Maura to officially be part of the Rizzoli family, but Frankie isn't a detective yet."

Angela turned so she was facing Jane and said softly, "He isn't the Detective Rizzoli I was talking about."

"Um, what?"

"Come on, Jane. Where do you think you got all your detective skills from?"

"Okay, okay, Ma, I get it. But it's complicated."

"Janie, when your father left me I was devastated. It's still really hard sometimes. But that doesn't mean I regret all the years we were together. If you are waiting for everything to be perfect or for divine intervention or something, it's not gonna happen. Trust me, being with someone you love, even if it's temporary, is better than being alone forever. And for the record, as far as I'm concerned, Maura is already officially part of this family."

Angela walked towards the door and said, "Tommy, I need some help moving some things. Can you come help me now?"

Tommy rolled his eyes. "Right now, Ma?"

"Yes, now."

Tommy dutifully followed Angela out the door and Jane took his place on the couch.

"Tommy is sweet," Maura said once they were gone.

"He just wants to get in your pants."

"I know, and I told him it wasn't going to happen."

Jane was shocked. "You did?"

"Actually I told him that if I slept with him I would only be using him as a substitute for you."

Jane's eyes went wide. "What!"

Maura laughed. "Well, it's true. I'm not a monk, Jane. I need to have sex. But for awhile I have found that I'm only really interested in people who remind me of you."

"Still? I mean even since...you know?"

"Yes."

They sat in silence for a few moments before Jane said, "I hate you for making me feel like this."

"How do you feel?"

"Angry, jealous, confused...horny."

"I'm sorry I slapped you," Maura said.

Jane shrugged.

"Would it be too much to ask that we start over?"

"Maura," Jane sighed.

"I know, I know, that won't work."

Jane stood up and started pacing. "What if...what if we rewrite history?"

"What do you mean?"

"Instead of everything that happened, instead we say that you admitted your attraction to me and I got scared and ran, because we both know that's what I would do. And you thought I was rejecting you, but I wasn't, I was just being stupid. And now here we are figuring out what to do next."

Maura laughed "So, you want us to lie? You know I can't lie. Even if it's just lying to ourselves."

"No, no, not lie. I'm just thinking that if we sort of re-frame what happened it will be easier to move on. And later when people ask to hear the story of how we got together we will both sound less crazy."

"You think we're going to be together?"

Jane sat back down next to Maura on the couch. She took Maura's hands in her own. "I think we're at a point where we need to make a decision. Either we're just gonna be friends like before or actually try to be together. I can't keep going on with it being up in the air. And I hope that you wanna try to be together."

Maura removed her hands from Jane's grasp and stood up. It was her turn to pace. "What happened between Friday and now to make you like this?"

"Ma said some stuff tonight that made some sense."

"This is because of your mother? Are you sure you are feeling okay?"

Jane smiled. "Since when are you funny?"

"I'm not joking. I don't want to have this conversation if you are unwell in some way. You can't later say that you don't remember this conversation, or that you were having some sort of mental break, or that you were on medication that made your brain malfunction."

"Maura, I was miserable all weekend. I missed you. I always miss you when I'm not with you. The past few weeks have mostly completely sucked, but if it's what had to happen to get me to act on all of the feelings I've been ignoring and suppressing, then I'm just gonna accept it." Maura was still pacing with a confused look on her face. "Hey, come sit back down with me. What's wrong?"

Maura sat down next to Jane again. "I think I'm just surprised. I thought it would take you a lot longer to get to this place and now I don't know if I can trust you."

"What can I do?"

"Kiss me. Kiss me like you did before."

Jane leaned in and pressed her lips to Maura's. One hand moved to Maura's cheek. Maura parted her lips and moaned softly as Jane sucked on her bottom lip. Jane's hands moved to Maura's waist and she swiftly pulled Maura so she was straddling her lap.

Maura emitted a surprised, "Oh." Her hands found Jane's shoulders and she sat back and looked in Jane's eyes for a moment before crashing her lips against Jane's again.


	9. Chapter 9

**Hankering: Extended Version**

_You can read the original Hankering chapter here: Add /s/__7401594/1/Hankering onto fanfiction net_

_Disclaimer: Jane Rizzoli and Maura Isles do not belong to me. No infringement intended and no profit will be made from their use._

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><p>Maura was straddling Jane's lap, hands on both sides of Jane's face, their tongues entwined. Jane's hands had ventured under Maura's shirt and were rubbing circles on her back.<p>

When they took a break to breathe, Jane said, "Maura, I have to ask you something before we go any further. Why me? I mean, you said you loved me, why?"

Maura sat up straight. "Jane, you have so much to offer. I wish you could see that."

"I know that. I really do. And I'm not looking for an ego boost or anything." Jane sighed. "Look, I've never had any dating success and I don't really know why. I don't want to be alone but I can't ever get close to anyone. I resigned myself to the idea that eventually I would just give in and settle for one of the guys Ma keeps trying to set me up with. Or if I decided I wanted to be bored to death, someone like Dean. So I kinda want to know what I did right with you."

"Jane, sweetie, you were just yourself. Remember when you asked me if I ever had a best friend? I've had people I would consider friends, and I've had plenty of colleagues and acquaintances. You were my first best friend because no one has ever seen me the way you do. No one has ever known so much about me and still wanted to spend time with me. Without even trying you make me feel special."

Jane was absentmindedly rubbing her hands along Maura's thighs. "That makes me both incredibly sad and incredibly happy."

"I didn't say any of that so you would feel bad for me."

"I know. And I do think you're special."

Maura leaned in towards Jane again and before kissing her said, "I think you're special too."

After breaking apart again Jane said, "Um, do you think we could move this to the bedroom so I don't have to worry about anyone spying on us from the guest house?"

"Oh. Eew. Yes, please." Maura pushed herself off of Jane and stood up. She put out a hand to pull Jane up and laced their fingers to pull Jane to bedroom. Maura stopped in the middle of the bedroom and turned to face Jane. "Would you like an ego boost now?"

Jane raised her eyebrows. "Yes?"

Maura rubbed her hands across Jane's shoulders. "You are so sexy, especially when you have your detective swagger." Maura walked behind Jane and traced her hands down Jane's back and hips. "Your body is physically perfect. So strong and beautiful. The sound of your voice is pure sex." Maura stood in front of Jane again, with her hands on Jane's waist and looking up at her. "And you walk around totally oblivious to all of that because you're always focused on your job or taking care of other people. And that makes you even sexier."

Jane smiled and said, "Wow. I don't even know what to say to that."

"Take me to bed, Jane."

Jane walked Maura backwards to the edge of the bed, where she stopped and bent down to kiss her. Jane's hands grabbed the hem of Maura's shirt and pulled it over Maura's head and then did the same to her own. She unclasped Maura's bra did away with her own as well. Jane unbuttoned Maura's jeans and slid her hands under the waistband to Maura's ass. "You better sit down or I won't be able to peel these jeans off of you."

Maura laughed and sat on the edge of the bed. Jane slowly pulled the skin tight jeans and thong down Maura's legs until she was kneeling in front of a naked Maura. "You are so fucking beautiful."

"So are you." Maura slid back on the bed and Jane followed, crawling over Maura's body.

Maura grabbed Jane the top of Jane's pants and said, "Take these off. All of it."

Jane shimmied out of the rest of her clothes and returned to her position above Maura. "God, this feels perfect."

"Almost. Not quite yet." Maura ran her fingertips down Jane's back to her ass and pulled Jane tight against her.

Jane groaned and she had only one coherent thought, that she needed to be touching Maura immediately. Jane shifted enough to slip her hand between them and between Maura's legs. This time Jane took enough time to enjoy how wet Maura was and stroke her fingers across Maura's clit. Jane captured Maura's lips in a gentle kiss as she entered her.

Maura's hips rose to meet Jane's hand and she moaned into Jane's mouth. Jane set a slow rhythm. Maura ran her hands over all of Jane's skin she could reach before settling on Jane's breasts, squeezing them and rubbing her thumb over Jane's nipples.

Jane started rocking her hips against Maura in rhythm to her own thrusting. Maura reached a hand between them to touch Jane. Maura entered Jane smoothly with two fingers and matched her rhythm to Jane's.

Jane opened her eyes. It seemed like the sensation of someone being inside her should be the same, whether it was fingers or otherwise. But it wasn't. It was so much better. "Maura, look at me." Maura opened her eyes and looked into Jane's. "This is perfect," Jane whispered.

Jane increased her pace and Maura did as well. Maura started softly moaning and when Jane started to feel Maura's body tensing it pushed her over the edge. Jane closed her eyes and let out a low groan.

Maura's free hand gripped Jane's shoulder and she said "Keep your eyes open."

Jane locked eyes with Maura. They came together, quietly and both savoring the moment. Jane dropped her weight fully on top of Maura and buried her face in Maura's neck.

Maura wrapped her arms around Jane. "Jane, you're shaking. Are you okay?"

"I'm great. It's just... I'm so happy."

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><p>Jane fell asleep wrapped around Maura's body and woke up the next morning in the same position. She left Maura asleep, threw on some clothes and went down to the kitchen. Jane paced around the kitchen as coffee brewed. As she poured a cup of coffee, Tommy came into the kitchen from the guest house.<p>

Tommy poured himself a cup of coffee and said, "You're here early, sis."

"I never left," Jane responded.

"Maura finally got you into bed, huh? Was she good?" Tommy sneered.

Jane put her cup of coffee on the counter. "Watch yourself Tom. You are talking about the woman I love."

"Your girl is a whore, Janie."

"Are you drunk or something? It's 7am."

"No, I'm not drunk. But I'm tired of your holier-than-thou attitude. I'm tired of you looking down on me like you're any different than me. I saw her in here with another woman a few weeks ago."

"What are you doing, stalking her?"

"No. I was going to see if Maura wanted to play chess but I saw her in an, uh, intimate position. I thought she was with you at first. But then Maura paid her."

"Tommy, you better just shut your fucking mouth. That's none of your business."

"So you knew? You are such a fucking hypocrite."

"Get out Tom, before I punch in you the face. And stay the fuck out of Maura's house."

Tommy moved towards the door but before he left he said, "Be careful Jane. You wouldn't want me to tell anyone else about this, although I'm sure Ma would be fascinated."


	10. Chapter 10

**Hankering: Extended Version**

_You can read the original Hankering chapter here: Add /s/__7401594/1/Hankering onto fanfiction net_

_Disclaimer: Jane Rizzoli and Maura Isles do not belong to me. No infringement intended and no profit will be made from their use._

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><p>Maura came into the kitchen as Tommy slammed the door behind him. "What is going on? Were you arguing with Tommy?"<p>

Jane turned on Maura with all of the angry she had been directing at Tommy. "He saw you."

"He saw me what?"

"With that hooker!" Jane spat out.

"Escort."

"Same difference."

Maura reached her hand to Jane's back to try to soothe her. "It's okay. You know all about it. We've moved past it."

Jane moved away from Maura's touch. "You don't understand. Tommy is charming, he seems like a nice guy. But he isn't. He's always working an angle. And now he has this information to use against us."

"Wait a second. Was he spying on me?"

"I don't think so. He said he was coming over to see if you wanted to play chess. But I don't know how much he saw, other than you paying her." Jane paused and thought about what Tommy said he saw. "He said that at first he thought you were with me. Why would he think that?"

"Oh, Jane," Maura sighed.

"Just tell me, Maura."

"I hired someone who looked like you," Maura said as quickly as possible.

"What does that even mean?"

"I was trying to get over my attraction to you. I didn't think anything would ever happen between us. I thought if I... simulated being with you, it would help and I would get over you."

"Jesus fucking Christ, Maura. Is there anything else you haven't told me?" Jane yelled.

"No. And I don't understand why you're so upset right now. This new information doesn't change anything."

"I don't know. I'm trying to forget about what you did, but it's hard. I shoulda known last night was too good to be true." Jane sighed. "I gotta go."

"Do you have to leave now? Stay for breakfast, please."

"I need to go home and change before work. I'll see you later."

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><p>Jane's head was pounding as she drove to work, but she had calmed down considerably. Why, she wondered, did she keep doing this? Lashing out at Maura and leaving before making it right?<p>

When Jane reached headquarters she went straight to the cafe to see her mother. She wanted to talk privately so she walked past her mother straight back to the kitchen and waited for Angela to have a chance to join her.

"Sooo," Angela said, waltzing in, "Tommy said you spent the night at Maura's."

Jane couldn't help but smile. "Go ahead, say it."

"I told you so," Angela said in a sing song voice, and then said, "So why are you really here? What's the problem now?"

"Because you were right, I'm going to ask for your advice. But the deal is, I'm gonna tell you something but you can't ask for any details. Okay?"

"Okay," Angela said seriously.

"A few weeks ago Maura did something that many people would find... morally questionable, and was maybe illegal. No one was harmed in any way though. I'm trying to get over it, but it's really hard for me to forget about it."

"People make mistakes. Or people make choices that seem like a good idea but with hindsight are not. The longer I've lived the more I've realized that most of those things are not worth losing someone over. I can't tell you what to do. But I think there are probably very few things worth losing Maura over. Can you tell me what about it is bothering you the most?"

Jane thought for a moment. "I think it's that she had a problem and she didn't come to me with it first. Instead she did something pretty sketchy."

"I don't know Janie. It must be worse than that to have you here asking for my advice. But, I will say that you tend to see things very black and white. My advice is that love is never black and white. If you want her, you just have to find a way to get over whatever she did." Angela glanced outside the kitchen to the counter. "I have customers. I love you, honey. Don't make any rash decisions."

Jane then went up to the bullpen and fidgeted at her desk for twenty-five minutes. Finally, Frost said, "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"When I first made detective I worked Vice. We thought we were so badass, cleaning up the streets. I don't think about it too much but when I do it seems so ridiculous now. Going after gambling rings and hookers. We would do random raids in Chinatown, picking up all the girls on the corners and bringing them to the precinct station. But we couldn't hold them for anything because we had no evidence of any crimes being committed. It was just to make their already shitty lives worse. As if harassing them would make them decide to make some life changes and stop hooking. Because they had so many other options."

Frost cleared his throat and said, "Uh, Jane, is there a point to this?"

"When I got to Homicide and I found out we actually solved murders, real crimes with real victims, and arrested people who deserved to go to prison, it was a revelation. It was actually what I became a cop to do. Looking back now, I know I lost focus of that purpose with Vice, where it was just about being a cop to push people around. They taught everyone that everything was black and white. Cops were good and everyone else was a possible criminal. And sometimes I realize I haven't fully let go of that way of thinking. Do you think escort services are wrong?"

Frost was shocked by the sudden turn in the conversation. "Whoa, what the hell? Are you looking for a way to make some more money or something?"

"No, come on Frost. Just morally or whatever, like a high end escort service, is it wrong?"

Frost sighed. "Fine. I think that as long as every one involved is a consenting adult, it's okay. The escort services, it's not like the girls on the street who have no other options."

"Yeah, that's a good point."

"What the hell is going on, Jane?"

"Nothing. I gotta go. Just call me if anything comes up." Jane left the bullpen, leaving Frost totally confused.

* * *

><p>Jane went down to the morgue. Maura was working on a body. She glanced up as Jane entered the lab but quickly returned to work. Jane approached the autopsy table and said, "I'm sorry about this morning."<p>

Maura kept her eyes on her work. "It was too soon. I shouldn't have let things go so far last night. I should have known you'd run away this morning."

Jane walked around the table and put her hands on Maura's shoulder, turning Maura so she would look at her. "Look, it's not your fault. It's my own issues. I'm trying to work through them. I really am. I don't want to fuck this up with you."

"Then why can't you talk to me instead of running away when something is bothering you?"

"It wasn't you bothering me, it was Tommy."

"No, it was you reacting to what Tommy said. And running away from talking about it."

"You didn't hear what he said about you."

Maura took her gloves and autopsy gear off and washed her hands. She walked into her office and Jane followed. "It doesn't matter what he said about me. It matters that what I did still bothers you. Does it bother you that I sex with another woman or that I paid for it."

Jane cringed. "I'm not sure."

"I didn't touch her. But I've had many sexual partners in the past, both men and women. Does that bother you?"

"No, I'm not that ridiculous. It bothers me that if I had admitted my feelings for you earlier to myself, none of this would have happened. I hate that you went looking for something that I wasn't giving you. And I hate myself for not being able to get over it."

"Well, understanding what is bothering you is a good step toward fixing it, right? But I don't like being treated this way, especially by you."

"I know. I need to go talk to Tommy, to straighten things out with him. Then I have one other thing to do. Can I come by later tonight when I'm done if it isn't too late?"

"Okay," Maura agreed.

* * *

><p>Jane knocked on the door of the guest house. Tommy answered the door and said, "Oh, what do you want?"<p>

Jane walked inside past Tommy and said, "What exactly is your problem Tommy?"

Tommy laughed bitterly and said, "My whole life it's been why can't you behave like your sister Jane? Why can't you be smart like Jane? Why can't you do something with your life like Jane? Ma and Pop, the nuns at school, everyone, they all loved you best and I was just the screw up. And you loved it. You love thinking you're better than me."

Tommy had moved close to Jane and Jane stood her ground. "You know that's complete bullshit, but I didn't come here to fight with you. I know you're into Maura. If I had my shit together Maura and I would have already been together when you met her. But that doesn't matter because she's not just some cheap fuck. And I can't remember the last time you were interested in a woman for a relationship."

"I thought you weren't here to fight," Tommy sneered.

Jane backed away and sat down on a living room couch. "I'm not. I'm here to ask you to keep what you know a secret. Even if it doesn't work out between Maura and I, she will still be part of my life and part of our family. We're the only real family she has. If you think I was Ma's favorite growing up, which I strongly disagree with by the way, Maura is definitely her favorite now. You can't screw that up for Maura."

Tommy was pacing in front of Jane. "Fuck, Jane, I wasn't gonna tell anyone. It's not even a big deal. But last night Ma was going on and on about you and Maura. She's always talking about you and Frankie getting married and having kids. She never says that stuff about me. It just made me so pissed."

"Trust me, you don't want Ma nagging you like that."

Tommy finally stopped pacing and sat down next to Jane. "I want her to treat me normally, like I'm not still a screw-up."

"You just have to concentrate on staying straight and getting your life back to normal. Ma will come around. It seems to me like she's being awfully generous to you."

"Yeah, well, she's more forgiving than you are," Tommy grinned.

"That's true. I gotta go. Are we cool?" Jane said, standing up from the couch.

"Yeah, fine. But you better not fuck up with Maura. If you ruined my chance with her and you fuck it up, I'm gonna be wicked pissed."

* * *

><p>Jane had one more stop before being finished for the day. She went up the steps and rang the doorbell of a Back Bay brownstone. When the door opened, she flashed her badge and said, "My name is Detective Rizzoli. We need to talk."<p> 


	11. Chapter 11

**Hankering: Extended Version**

_You can read the original Hankering chapter here: Add /s/__7401594/1/Hankering onto fanfiction net_

_Disclaimer: Jane Rizzoli and Maura Isles do not belong to me. No infringement intended and no profit will be made from their use._

_**Thanks as always for all of the comments and alerts. I may end this story here, or maybe one more chapter. But we come full circle in this chapter and it might be a good place to wrap up.**  
><em>

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><p>Jane entered the home of Susan McGann, which Jane assumed also doubled as the offices of Amazing Encounters because it was the only address on all of the information Jane dug up on the operation. Jane wasn't sure what she was expecting but it wasn't this. She imagined an overly-made-up woman dressed in too revealing clothes. Instead she felt like she was in the home of a suburban soccer mom. Ms. McGann was middle-aged, a little overweight, and dressed in jeans and a simple blouse.<p>

Ms. McGann was not someone to mess with, however, and she conveyed this by giving Jane a stern look and asking curtly, "Is this a business or pleasure call, Detective?"

"Uh, a little of both I guess. Can we sit somewhere?"

"Sure. Come into the kitchen. Can I get you something to drink?" She gestured for Jane to follow her and then towards two seats at a small table in the kitchen.

Jane took a seat in one of the chairs. "No thanks. I kind of expected you to slam your door in my face."

Ms. McGann sat down across from Jane. "Well, you didn't come with a swat team. And you might be surprised by the variety and number of visitors I get. Usually it's people who are interested in my services but need certain guarantees about privacy. So, what can I do for you?"

Jane figured there was no need to beat around the bush. "You had a client about a month ago. I need to know what she asked for?"

"Is this related to a police investigation?"

"No, this is a personal request."

"The services my company provides are completely confidential. I can't give you any information. My reputation is at stake. I can't just give out information to anyone who walks in my door."

Jane was prepared to play hardball. "I have more than enough information about your operation to launch a full police investigation. I can promise an arrest here, outside your home, with advance notice to all the television stations. And I'm sure you have more than few high profile clients you would like to protect. Comparatively, I'm asking for a small favor."

"You aren't asking for a favor, you're threatening me. I have a reputable business and I provide a sometimes necessary and always appreciated service. I know who you are Detective. Jane Rizzoli, the hero cop. I actually have a pretty good idea what client you want information on and I'm going to give it to you. Not because you are threatening me, but because I sincerely hope it helps both of you. Wait here." Susan McGann rose and walked into another part of the house. She returned after a few minutes and held out a sheet of paper to Jane. "These are the instructions we received. You'll see she was quite specific about both appearance and actions. You will also note that there is no identifying information. And just as I have not named any clients tonight, no one will ever hear about your visit here tonight either."

Jane hesitated before taking the piece of paper. This was it. She hoped it would be the key to getting over all of her unresolved feelings about Maura hiring the escort. Either that or it would probably fuck up their relationship forever. But Jane had to know everything or she would never let it go, so she took the piece of paper and read it. And then she read through it two more times, taking in all the details.

Jane put the paper down on the table and suddenly remembered she wasn't alone and was being watched. She stood up and said, "Uh, thank you. I guess I'll just get going now."

Ms. McGann followed Jane to the door. "I hope I've been able to help you today. Goodbye Detective."

* * *

><p>Maura fixed dinner for two, not knowing if Jane was going to show up or not. If Jane did show up, she didn't know what was going to happen. Maura hadn't considered that if her and Jane got together it could go badly. Now she wasn't sure how things were going to turn out and what the fallout would be.<p>

At seven Maura decided she should just eat. She was cleaning up dinner when there was a knock at her door. She opened the door and found Jane leaning in the doorway, a bottle of wine in one hand. Maura immediately noticed a difference in Jane's demeanor. She looked both relaxed and full of confidence and purpose.

"Hi. Can I come in?" Jane asked, and Maura could swear that her voice was even deeper than normal.

Maura realized she was just standing in the doorway staring at Jane. "Yes. Of course."

Jane walked past her into the kitchen, opened the bottle of wine and poured a glass. She grabbed a bottle of beer from the fridge and opened it. Holding the two drinks she moved toward the couch, gesturing for Maura to join her. Maura sat. Jane handed her the glass of wine, and sat down next to her.

Maura wasn't sure what to make of the whole situation. She silently sipped her wine and watched Jane drink her beer. After a few minutes of silence Jane took Maura's glass from her hands and placed it on the coffee table along with her empty beer bottle. "Jane, what-"

Jane silenced Maura by placing a hand on Maura's thigh and saying, "I figured out what I needed to do. From now on, I'm going to fulfill your every desire, starting with this. And you won't have to ask anyone but me ever again."

"Oh," Maura breathed. Jane leaned in and kissed Maura's lips and Maura returned the kiss eagerly, until her brain caught up with what was happening. She pulled back and said, "But how did you know?"

"I did a little investigating and then I asked someone for a favor. I don't know if it was right or wrong but it helped me realize a lot of things. I had to do it for myself and for us. I needed to know that I knew everything and that there weren't going to be anymore surprises."

"I think I should be upset. You were investigating me."

"We could call it even," Jane suggested. "Start with a clean slate."

"It is an attractive proposition," Maura conceded. "If we can really do it."

"We can. I can. Please say yes."

Maura nodded and said, Yes." Jane's lips were on her's again before quickly moving to Maura's neck. Jane took her time, kissing and nipping down Maura's neck to the dip in her flesh above the clavicle. As Jane sucked on the sensitive skin there, she slowly pulled Maura's shirt up, dragging her fingertips along Maura's sides until she had to pull her head back to finish taking the shirt off.

Jane then shifted so she was kneeling on the floor in front of Maura. She hooked her fingers in the top of Maura's pants and pulled Maura's hips forward so she was in more of a slouching position on the couch. Jane then slid off Maura's pants and underwear.

Jane kissed Maura's stomach and her hands kneaded Maura's thighs. She was aware that Maura was very ready for her, but she wanted to make this last at least a little while.

Maura was struggling with whether to just lose herself in the moment, or to try and pay attention to all of the details, since they were to a large degree the ones she had choreographed herself. She decided to focus on one detail, that this was actually Jane kneeling in front of her. This was actually happening the way she wanted it to happen. Maura began squirming at that realization. "Jane, please," Maura moaned.

"Please what, baby?"

"Please, I need your mouth on me. Please fuck me."

Jane happily consented, running her tongue the length of Maura's wetness, ignoring the fact that this was the first time she had ever done this particular act. Based on Maura's moaning she figured she was doing a good enough job. After several long brushes of her tongue and a few dips inside of Maura, Jane concentrated on Maura's clit.

Maura looked down at Jane's head and tangled her fingers in Jane's long, curly, brown hair. This was so perfect, Maura briefly considered whether she could be dreaming or hallucinating. But this was too good to be a dream. So Maura finally turned off her brain, as much as she could, and submitted to the moment.

Jane's hand held Maura's hips firmly to the couch and she started sucking hard on Maura's clit. Maura moaned louder and louder. Maura came hard, yelling Jane's name over and over until Jane silenced her by kissing her and then said, "Shh, honey, you don't want to worry the neighbors."

Maura clasped her hands on Jane's face. "That was amazing."

"I'm sorry for how difficult I've been, but it's all settled now. Maura, I love you. I really, really, love you."

"I know. I love you too," Maura said before pulling Jane in for another kiss.


	12. Chapter 12

**Hankering: Extended Version**

_You can read the original Hankering chapter here: Add /s/__7401594/1/Hankering onto fanfiction net_

_Disclaimer: Jane Rizzoli and Maura Isles do not belong to me. No infringement intended and no profit will be made from their use._

_**A/N: This is the final chapter. I thought it only fair that Jane should get to realize her own fantasy.**  
><em>

* * *

><p>Jane and Maura easily settled into their new relationship after Jane overcame her issues. Although the road they took to begin dating was unconventional, ultimately it was like the beginning of any new relationship. They went out on dates, found excuses to find each other during the day, and negotiated whose house they would spend each night at. Although Maura's house was nicer and generally cleaner, Jane's apartment was farther from her mother.<p>

One night after they'd been together for a few months they were cuddling on Jane's couch watching a movie. After the movie Maura said, "We need to talk about something."

"Oh, god, please don't tell me you're breaking up with me."

"Of course not. It's about our sex life."

"Shit, am I doing something wrong?" Jane asked, genuinely concerned.

"Sweetie, you are perfect. But that's kind of why we need to talk. You are the best sexual partner I have ever had. I'm not embellishing at all, it's true. You indulge my every whim and it's amazing. But you don't ask for much. I want you to be able to tell me about your fantasies too."

"I'm totally happy with what we've been doing. You know I don't think about that stuff. I don't really have any other fantasies."

"Okay, but I want you to know you can tell me anything that you want."

Jane had never been good at talking about sex or asking for what she wanted. Even making noise during sex was difficult for her. But Maura was so open and honest, and so very loud, it made it easy for Jane to slowly open up. She was getting better at expressing her desires and how things made her feel. "I'll think about it, okay?"

That was fine with Maura. She could be very patient and she had an idea about something Jane wanted to do, something they would both enjoy, but she knew Jane had to come to it on her own terms. And Maura didn't want Jane to misunderstand her interest.

A few weeks later Jane had worked up the nerve to tell Maura what she wanted to do. Just as Maura had hypothesized, Jane wanted to fuck Maura with a strap-on. Jane explained that she thought it would be hot, especially being able to have free use of both hands. Maura agreed and assured Jane that she was interested and it had nothing to do with missing sex with men.

A few days later a package arrived at Jane's apartment. Maura had helpfully ordered a harness and dildo, as Jane expected her to. Jane was thankful for Maura's initiative in these matters. She really wasn't ready to go browsing in a sex toy shop. It took another few days of trying it on and doing some research before Jane was ready for action.

One evening Maura arrived at Jane's apartment and Jane was prepared. She was wearing the strap-on, quite noticeably, under her jeans. More importantly she was mentally prepared to be open and vocal. When Maura came inside Jane was immediately pressed against her, saying "I wanna fuck you now."

Maura pressed her hand against Jane crotch, almost blushing at Jane's words. "Just give me a minute to get ready, okay? Wait here."

A few minutes later Maura called Jane into the bedroom. Maura was reclining naked on the bed. Jane crawled on top of her. They made out for awhile, and Maura removed Jane's clothing. Maura could sense Jane's hesitancy to do more, so she wrapped a hand around the toy and said, "I want you to fuck me so badly."

That worked. Jane spread Maura's legs further and pushed inside of her. Maura moaned and wrapped her legs around Jane. Jane's hands roamed across Maura's stomach and chest before gripping her hips for leverage. When Maura got close she slipped her hand behind the harness to stroke Jane's clit. After they both came, Jane stayed inside Maura and after catching her breath, asked "Are you ready for more?"

Maura nodded and Jane flipped them both over so she was on her back and Maura was on her knees straddling Jane. "Fuck me, Maur. Make me come, just like this."

Maura smiled. She loved it when Jane told her what she wanted. Maura rolled her hips several times, driving the base of the dildo against Jane. She could tell it wasn't quite enough contact so she began swirling her hips in a circle, causing Jane to moan.

Jane gripped Maura's thighs. "Fuck, that feels good."

"Tell me more."

Jane decided it was time to really let go. There was no reason to hold back. "Grab your breasts." Maura cupped her own breasts. "Harder, squeeze them harder." Maura did and then pinched her nipples between her thumb and forefinger.

"You are so fucking sexy. One more thing, Maura. Touch yourself for me." Maura moved a hand from her breast. When she touched her own clit she closed her eyes and threw her head back. She was now writhing almost violently, pushing harder against Jane.

After they both came again, Maura slid off of Jane onto her side. "Are you...I mean was that..."

"Yes, it was fucking perfect."


End file.
